Sigh.



We won't be getting any more original Christmas carols from Wesley Willis, who died earlier this year. But we can always enjoy the ones we have. Like this one, brilliantly animated by one of my fave web animators, Weebl. (via boingboing.net) R.I.P, Wesley.



Wesley Willis | Santa

I know it's only the tip of the iceberg

...but go, Microsoft! I'd be happy with a 'cease & desist' order, though. Or some kind of class action settlement. (I really doubt Microsoft needs the money from this lawsuit, if they win.)

Salon.com Technology | Microsoft, N.Y. sue alleged spam ring

Yes!



I DO believe he would eat a muffin.



LINC ART

"Hello, BB? This is Horshack..."



I watched a show on Trio last night -- The Pop Culture Round Up: White Noise. It was surprisingly smart and funny (especially the White Noise Players, doing interpretive readings of Reality TV show scripts), and took a nice, catty look at 2003 pop culture.



In a segment called "Things We Like," they mentioned the following web site. It's truly as cheap and embarrassing and awful as it sounds. For a mere $30, you can have a C- or D-list actor call someone you love and deliver a personal message from you. It's not a recording. The celebrity actually CALLS.



The idea of The Hulk or Willis or that woman from Saturday Night Fever calling me personally gives me the fremps SO BAD, words fail me.



Hollywood Is Calling

Be sure to scroll down to see the celebrities...

Fab pre-fab.



This is just so damn cool. $29,000 + change and you could have an incredibly cool house. I wouldn't mind being the first one on MY block with one of these...



Rocio Romero, modern design and prefab architecture

Surprise your clients. Delight your friends.



Anyone in the design business is familiar with "lorem ipsum" -- when you don't have real copy, you put in paragraphs of fake text to show that there would be copy there if you had any. (In web, sometimes you don't have real text until about a minute and a half before you launch, but that's another story...) Anyway "lorem ipsum" is Latin, and it's got something to do with pain. Fact is, no one really cares what it means, except maybe your university clients.



Malevole has come up with a great alternative text generator. You tell them how many paragraphs you need, and they provide you with the intros to television shows to drop into your designs. I got the intro to 'Hart to Hart' and 'The A-Team.' Trivia and an inside design joke all in one. Fab. (via veer.com)



malevole - Text Generator

I feel so damned hip.



Tina, my own personal guide to/litmus test of cool, took me to a friend's party at a design studio in NY last year. I was one of the few Americans there (by midnight the place was slam-packed with beautiful European and Asian people). And I was definitely the only-est person from Milwaukee, WI. Tonight I'm trawling through shopping sites and find a book about that very design studio...wow. Everyone needs a Tina. If you don't have one, trust me. You need to find one. Pronto.



ZAKKA BOOKS AND MAGAZINES | tellmewhy - karlssonwilker inc. | The First 24 Months of a New York Design Company

Strange design contest.



It wouldn't be strange, except that it's sponsored by Design Within Reach, the company that sells ridiculously expensive designer furniture to people with modern taste and vast amounts of money. Perhaps you can use the thousand dollars you win to buy a designer lamp or ashtray from their catalog. (via boingboing.net)



Design Within Reach | Champagne Cork Chair Contest

Cool new ad campaign



Virgin Mobile USA's "Pay as you go" print campaign. Awfully anti-establishment, hip design for a big company. Cooool. Wish it happened more often.

(nice tip from PrintCritic's new email newsletter)



Virgin Mobile USA | The Book of Virgin

It's hard NOT to read a story with a headline like this.



Man agrees to stop selling body parts from home

Oh, heavens.



Don't tell my mom I blogged this. She won't be pleased. But some of it is really funny...

(via seethru.co.uk)



I am with you always

I like it.



Kinda Chuck T with a subversive attitude.



Blackspot sneaker ad

Sure, I get the point.



But it's still kind of a weird concept. Oh, well. Kudos to 'em for making malaria and parasitic diseases fun...



Nobel e-Museum: Malaria

Some mug shots just scream, "I'm guilty."



Nuff said.



The Smoking Gun: Archive

Dunno how I missed this.



Luckily Paul sent it to me on my birthday in place of a cheesy e-card. It made me laugh. And I like to laugh. (Thanks, Paul.)



It's actually kind of zen to watch it for awhile without shaking it, too.



Holiday Snowglobe

Awww.



Okay. Maybe it's just my own silly hobby. But every once in awhile, when I'm a wee bit on the bored side, I google people I know.



So, today, I started with Bradley. And behold...! The man truly is a giant.



Bonsai Web | Bradley's Ficus Microcarpa



On a more sinister note, when I googled myself, I discovered, to my horror, that there appears to be a young (or masquerading as young) porn star WITH MY NAME. I can't even bring myself to find out what the other BB looks like. I'm SO icked out.

In case you haven't heard



Home design guru Thom Felicia, of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, is replacing Kirstie Alley as the Pier 1 spokesperson. (via trendcentral.com)



Thank heavens. Now if they'd just replace the writers, TV-land would be that much less annoying.

Tonight's special



...is two olive-garnished meat patties with cheese, two hot dogs in a bun slathered with some kind of oniony coleslaw and a side of gherkins. For dessert we have pancakes with maple syrup served directly on the table. Our house red wine is perfect match for both the entree and dessert.



I don't know if the picture can possibly beat that description. Judge for yourself. (The pancakes on the table statement made me laugh harder than anything I've read in years.)



Archie McFee | Creepy Food Placemats



My second favorite item is the Jumbo Pencil. I don't know why. Giant office supplies are just funny.

First off, The Shins are ace.



Second, I love Aesthetic Apparatus, a cuppla guys from the wilds of Minnesota who create amazing concert posters. (And probably other stuff, but I only know about the concert posters.) They're like crazy Amish hipsters, still slapping paint over mesh to create silkscreened posters that are downright breathtaking at times.



So when I got this link in the mail today, I had no choice but to blog it. The commentary is so lovely and funny.



THE SHINS

All that fuss about "Fat Elvis" or "Thin Elvis" stamps.



The Dutch would've given you both, I bet, since you can put your own picture on their air mail stamps. I can't help but wonder, though, how often people submit pictures of their bums and bits? Hmm.



Springwise.com | Personalized Stamps

How did I not know about this?



Man, I hope they start flying out of non-coast cities soon...



Song Airline

Granted, I'm not the target audience



...but this actually makes my stomach churn.



Target | Disney Princess Christmas Tree

Polite technology.



Do you think it would work better if the sidewalks loudly chastised litterbugs?



Trash cans say 'thank you,' sing to the public

The best radio station ever.



They just redesigned their web site, so I figured it's time to give them props for the many hours of streaming joy they've given me. Great music, excellent dj's and NO COMMERCIALS. I love these guys.



KEXP 90.3 FM | where the music matters

A post-halloween scare.



Just an estimate, of course, but it still scares the bejeezus outta me to watch this tick along at such an alarming rate.



Cost of War

Once again, I wish I was a t-shirt-wearin' girl.



If I was, I'd definitely buy this one.



Toothpastefordinner.com | Shut up

A little film about Joe.



A surprisingly cinematic little flash film about an ordinary guy. Nice little payoff at the end.



ultralights | joe's story 01

Cool, fun and utterly useless.



Man, I love the interweb...



Let them sing it for you

Dang.





The eBay beanie baby guy's a fake.

Possibly my favorite headline ever.



Yes, it's a real headline.



Fijian village cursed since cannibals consumed missionary

The end of the world.



Beautifully explained in charming graphics. I LOVE this.

(caution: takes awhile to load)



endofworld.swf

The weirdness of dreams



...retold in comic strip format. People submit their dreams to his site, and Jess Reklaw draws them. Yes, it sounds boring, but it's completely addictive once you start reading it.



Slow Wave | Archives

Today's schadenfreude.



Charity gets no bids for dinner with Hurley

Guess how this story ends.



What a putz.



All David Alan Waters had to do to stay a free man was plant 10 chrysanthemums in the yard of Minnie Becton, the 99-year-old woman whose home he vandalized in January.



Man gets jail term over 10 flowers

Da-amn.



London. Two hundred bucks R/T. Book by tomorrow night. Hopefully, someone out there can take advantage of this. (If I had any vacation funds left, I'd buy tickets for me and all my QRios.)



British Airways - Special Offer - Fly to London for $100*

Happy Halloween!



Today's entry for This Is Broken made me laugh out loud. Especially the second picture.



Good Experience | This Is Broken

Tina rocks so big.



She sent me this link yesterday, and I just got around to checking it out. I'm in lurve. I want ALL of them.



Flying Pig Gallery | Paper automata

Okay. Two problems with this.



1) If it's protecting CHILDREN why isn't it "Protection From Child Pornography Week?" (tip from numberonehitsong.com)



2) He'd probably get a lot more support if it was "Protection From Pornography SPAM Week." I'd consider voting him back into office if he could rid my In box of ads for horny housewives and men who are, apparently, three inches too small.



Nah. I'd still vote against him. But I'd give him props for helpin' me out.



Protection From Pornography Week 2003

Perplexing. Truly perplexing.



I've never understood why people pronounce this word "asterIKS" or "asterIK." But what I find absolutely mysterious is the 1.36% of the participants who chose "Other" as their answer in this survey.



Dialect Survey Results



If you like words, the rest of the site will probably make you laugh and cry more than an Amy Tan novel. (via the delightful languagehat.com)

The things you can buy on the interweb...



Robber Rabbit's Internet Tat Shop

Next time you're in Hamburg or Berlin



...save some serious money on a rental car. Rent a Maxhopp car for one Euro/day (about $1.10). Get an environmentally friendly car for exactly three days and agree to drive at least 30 km/day. What's the catch? There isn't one. Maxhopp vehicles are plastered with advertisements -- you drive 'em around, you get 'em dirt cheap. Now THAT's cool.



Maxhopp | Rent a car for a euro a day

Niiiiiice.



via veer.com



CrushedCans - Buy One Today!!!

Okay. This is being blogged all over the place.



But there's a reason for that. It's just bizarre. Not so much for the obvious reasons, but because the guy's been struck by lightning TWICE during the shoot.



BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Jesus actor struck by lightning

This just made me laugh.



Folks have done many strange things over the years in an effort to beat the [breathalyzer]. In a case heard in an Alberta courtroom in March 1985, 28-year-old Dave Zurfluh who was stopped on suspicion of driving while under the influence ate his undershorts in the belief they would soak up the excess alcohol in his system. According to Constable Bill Robinson, the arresting officer, he heard 'some ripping and tearing' from the back of the cruiser. 'I looked in the back and he was tearing pieces of the crotch of his underwear out and stuffing them in his mouth,' Robinson testified.



Urban Legends Reference Pages | Take My Breath Away

Fremps. On so very many levels.



Via b3ta.com. Of course. Double A's good intentions simply don't make up for the fremps-inducing awfulness of this.



Celebrity mental health patient Adam Ant has been all over the UK tabloids with his new version of his 80s hit Stand and Deliver. Called Save the Gorillas it's a charming plea on behalf of the Dian Fossey foundation. But what we really enjoyed is this unplugged style video showing Adam really enjoying recording the song. He looks really chipper.



Adam Ant - Save the Gorilla

Hard to believe



I was just dragging my roll-y luggage through this very train station three days ago.



(I have to give Tunick credit for being able to coordinate these shoots. And the final product of his photography is quite beautiful. But I think it's time to move on from the mass nudity thing. Just a thought.)



CNN.com - Women join New York nude photo shoot - Oct. 26, 2003

It was worth checking out the article...



...just for the bit below.



Paramedics took the six squirming boys to the nearby Royal Berkshire Hospital, where they were monitored until the effects wore off.



(Someone's dad is squirming, too, I bet.)



CNN.com - Schoolboys took Viagra at lunch

So incredibly sad.



I was out with my friends tonight when I heard about Elliott Smith's suicide. I've been locked up in conference rooms or on the road for two days and hadn't heard.



Wow.



When I was surfing around trying to find out more information, I ran across this. First, I was surprised to find that Margaret Cho (yes, Bradley -- the comedienne) has a blog. Second, I was surprised to find out she's such a big Elliott Smith fan. Third, this bit of what she wrote (below) is exactly what I'd love to hear if I was a singer/songwriter. I wonder if he had any idea the incredibly tender feelings his music provoked in people?



One time I was in Portland on tour, an early morning before I was about to leave for home and I walked into a bagel shop. You were there, not in person, but your record was playing. The sleepy, baby cute hippie kid behind the counter was singing along to you, quiet just like you, and he knew every word. There was another raggedy girl cleaning up tables behind me, and she was singing too. Then this other kid came into the shop, and waited in line, and he was singing - as if on cue, a little off key, but almost in harmony. Pretty soon, so was I. But we were all in our own private worlds, our voices barely audible, singing only for ourselves. Were you singing for yourself? I hope so. I hope that you could love your music like it was loved by everyone else.



Margaret Cho BLOG

Yes. Absolutely.



This perfectly describes one of our clients, who shall remain nameless. But I'll be seeing her in the next few days, and I may leave this on her chair. Anonymously. Then I'll run like hell.

(thanks for the link, Anne!)



Toothpaste For Dinner | Bang this out

This actually made me laugh.



Sad that people have to take this particular problem into their own hands. But at least this offers a cheap solution.



Knee Defender | protect against reclining seatbacks on airplanes



The courtesy card on this page is particularly fab. Unfortunately, you can pretty much guess how well this will go over with most airline passengers...or maybe I just don't have enough faith in the sensitivity of my fellow passengers.

The more I think about it...



...the more I realize: this really IS the dumbest stunt an intelligent person could do without a moral or ethical reason for doing it. No wonder the British are pelting him with food.



Blaine in Poor Health, Nutritionist Says

Oooh. A new approach to an old medium?



What a intriguing way to generate some curiosity about a new novel by a good author -- a web site that tantalizes with little scenes and clues from the book. Kinda reminds me of the Donny Darko web site, but I've never seen anything like this for a novel.



It's a shame the site is so damn pokey and wastes so much time getting into any kind of narrative. But it's definitely still interesting enough to blog.



Be sure to click "low resolution" on the intro screen. And hang tight through the first few minutes. It does get more interesting.



HEY, NOSTRADAMUS! The New Novel by Douglas Coupland

I find sites like this equally fascinating and unsettling.



You have the voyeuristic thrill of reading other people's anonymous confessions, but then you have to realize that real people wrote them.



Hmm.



grouphug | let it all out

I admit it. I'm a complete robot dork.



But, c'mon -- it seems like everyone is coming out with really cool ones right now.



Paul sent me this link last week -- I loved it. But, I swear, I nearly cooed watching this, starring the same little robot guy:

Hoap signs his name

Schadenfreude.



The whole site will make you feel better about looking less than perfect and not having spent a gazillion bucks to do it.



But I must confess...Meg Ryan's continuing transformation into silly putty is just depressing.



Awful Plastic Surgery: More Meg Ryan

Huzzah!



Milwaukee rates #25 on Forbe's list of Best Cities for Singles. It may not be great, but -- take THAT, Portland (#26).



A tale of cool cities | csmonitor.com

Oh...the many, many times I've felt this sentiment...



Maybe there's something wrong with me since I don't find either of the following fascinating:

1) Babies.

2) Weddings.



So these these rock, as far as I'm concerned.

WOW.



Armageddon! Armageddon! Cows, run for your lives!



FOXNews.com | Lightning Kills 20 Pregnant Cows

Proof that some people just shouldn't breed.



[...]The 2000 social security records reveal that 24 children were named Unique.



More on kids' names that are just stupid:



NEWS.com.au | Branded anything but Unique (September 29, 2003)

Bradley's got a blog.



There's something strange about blogging a blog -- kind of puts me in the mind of one of those mirror in a mirror in a mirror thingies. But I do feel like I should promote the blog of my lovely friend and favoritist wannabe giant, Bradley:



Wannabe Giant

Keeping with a drawing theme today...



When you listen to Radiohead, you're no longer actually listening to Radiohead -- you're listening to everyone's opinion about Radiohead. It's impossible to separate what you hear from what you've read. You are betrayed by what you know, and you know way too much.



Thus, in order to solicit an honest, undiluted opinion about Radiohead, you've have to find the proverbial People Living Under Rockes. As People Living Under Rocks are unavailable, let's use fifth graders.



East Bay Express | Radiohead Rorschach - Rob Harvilla

It's like a children's book for adults.



The Bearskinrug Sketchbook

The poor man's iPod.



Can't afford an iPod? The cracking geniuses at b3ta.com can help. They've found a paper template that you can cut out, wrap around a cigarette packet and use to impress the opposite sex with your edgy techno allure. Brilliant.



Cheap iPod

Well. The votes are in.



Ick.



JS Online | Doyle flips decision, puts cow on quarter

Funny? Disturbing? Both? You decide...



NJ.com | Huge insects destroy 40 foot tree

Oh, ewwww...



Cousin Couples - Support for kissing cousins

If David Sedaris reads it, I'll read it.



David Sedaris | Recommended Reading List

This is just SO cool.



It's now on my wish list. Right behind the dozen QRIO robots who will call me their queen.



XM Radio | Delphi XM Roady

No particular reason for this one.



It just made me laugh.



Archie McFee

"The greatest invention in housing SINCE THE INVENTION OF BRICKS!"



Ah, the 50s. A strange and optimistic time. Always reinventing the idea of "modern living."



A completely furnished and decorated home you can buy exactly as you see it...fully equipped for modern living with everything included from central air conditioning down to brand-new toothbrushes.



The "Weekend Utopia" picture alone (bottom, right) is worth a click.



the leisurama housing project

Oh, to be in Nevada in November...



Kudos to Timmy for the link.



World Beard and Moustache Championships | Carson City, NV | 2003

I want almost everything these people sell.



'Specially this.



Blik | Say what you want.

Northwest Airlines instant-win contest.



I love this stuff. A little game that gives you the chance to instantly win 2,500 WorldPerks miles.



The nwa.com Check-In Instant Win Game

I love these guys.



Late last week, Bradley and I were discussing whether graphic design can be considered fine art. I used this company's posters to support my argument that yes, I believe some "commercial" art can also be "real" art.



Aesthetic Apparatus | Posters

Ohhhhh! I want to stay at The Library Hotel!



I didn't even know this existed until this morning when I read this story about the Dewey Decimal rights-holders suing this lovely establishment for copyright infringement.



Hell, they can sort out the financial stuff themselves. Seems a little over-the-top to me. All I know is that want to stay in a Dewey Decimal room...



Library Hotel, New York City, NY

Can I vote no to ALL of them?



Wisconsin currency. Cast your vote. Please.

(via our office intranet this morning -- thanks, Jillian!):



"Vote for your favorite (or least offensive).

Do we really want a cow head and a hunk of cheese on our quarter? Yikes!"



Wisconsin Commemorative Quarter | Vote

Um...



"Jesus Loves You" flip flops and boots.



Shoes Of The Fisherman

Possibly the weirdest, most depressing web site ever.



I don't know what surprised me more -- the fact that, as his final meal, James Powell requested only a pot of coffee. (Gallows humor, perhaps?) Or the fact that Texas executes people on a shockingly regular basis. And keeps its web site so up-to-date...



Texas Department of Criminal Justice | Final Meal Requests

Staggering.



From the archives of the always-entertaining Morning News-- Possibly the most spot-on, funny, brilliant treatise/how-to guide I've ever read about break-ups. This should be a flyer in doctor's offices. Really.



The Non-Expert: Broken Hearts

As opposed to "strategic pants"?



(via, you guessed it, Jonerthun Gundemacher, Pantsblogger extraordinaire...)



Royal Robbins 5.11 Tactical Pants

Inexplicable. And cool beyond belief.



I wish I didn't have to work today. I'd much rather just explore this site. (Thanks for the link, Dan!)



Speckled Paint

This just made me giggle.



b3ta.com | weee!

Bummer.



I was hoping to clear up all my credit card debt with this service, but, apparently, my price of my soul won't cover it.



Free online quotes available!



wewantyoursoul.com

Low fat. High caffeine.



Power sausage will keep German beer drinkers awake

Words of Wisdom.



Nuff said.



Professor Barnhardt's Journal - Issue 11

How creatives spend their days.



We at HD are just bummed that C-K (our competitors!) came up with this one first... damn 'em.



Stealth Disco

No more cats for me.



I'm getting myself about a dozen of these and proclaiming myself Queen of Locust Street.



Sony Global | QRIO

A step forward or a step back for feminism?



I'm simultaneously complimented and appalled by this particular technology development.



Enter the female robots - smh.com.au

Oooooooh....



This is the best site I've found in AGES. I've got to go. I only have one weekend to trawl through it before I have to go back to work.



Tack-O-Rama Home Page

Bill the Cat, too??



Apparently Berke Breathed can't stay away any longer. He's bringing Opus back. Yay!



Opus the Penguin Back In the Funny Business (washingtonpost.com)

Everything's better on a stick.



My favorite part is that it has a cheese cube on it.



You gotta live the midwest.



CNEWS Weird News - Iowa Fair adds 'salad-on-a-stick'

I'll use this a lot in the winter.



A cool little app from MSN.com -- enter your criteria from the pulldowns and find out where you should live. I was surprised to find Anchorage, AK, in my results. Who knew?



Find City - MSN House & Home

Yay, Jonerthun!



An article about everyone's favorite pants blogger, Jonathan Gundlach. Or J.P. Gundermacher, as we like to call 'im...



OnMilwaukee.com Arts and Entertainment: For local artist, beauty is colorblind

Such a lovely simple idea.



Write yourself a letter to be delivered at a future date.



F u t u r e M e . o r g



For samples, go here

Best of Craig.



My long-distance roommate, Tina, sent me this link. I love how people use Craig's list personals for this kind of stuff. It's almost like therapy...



Thanks, T. :)



My mom needs a hobby - please help!!!!

My favorite site so far today.



The British Lard Marketing Board

Whoa.



Law & Order would have a field day with this. Yikes.

FOXNews.com

The site that just keeps on giving.



I'm sure our signs and packaging are every bit as stupid to other cultures. But, man, I love engrish.com. Every time I re-discover it, it makes me thank god there are dorks out there that document this stuff. Here are the latest entries...



Recent Discoveries | Index

I'm torn.



I don't know whether to be completely in awe of the thoroughness of this or ashamed to be part of a culture that wants to make McDonald's food at home.



McDonald's hamburger recipes

It's so much prettier in Chinese.



Your Name in Chinese

An homage to Jonathan.



Jonathan is my co-worker and creator of (in my opinion) the most sublime blog in the history of time, The Pantsblog (link in the right column). He's going to be absolutely giddy as a schoolgirl when he discovers the power of pants as a communication tool.



Trouser Semaphore

Ah, Jimmy. Somebody busted you, man.



Click here.

A nice little article about my trio buddies.



A nice feature article by Nick Carter about the "Who's Your Daddy?" trio (Dan Trudell, Mike Standal and Dave Bayles). They play Thursday nights at The Estate. It came out a cuppla weeks ago, but it just occured to me to post it... duh.



JS Online | Dudes who likes to jazz it up

Aww. 'Member "Kolchak, The Night Stalker"?



I used to love this show. I think I was in the 3rd or 4th grade when it was on (and cancelled). Trio's "Brilliant But Cancelled" series lets me relive the childhood memory of this and a lot of other shows that were good and never repeated. Ace.



TRIO | Brilliant But Cancelled

Kind of an intriguing little project.



e l e v a t o r m o o d s



And (via MeFi) for a bit more info read this

R.I.P. Wes.



If you haven't heard Wesley Willis, I can't describe him to you. There is NO describing Wesley Willis' music. You have to hear it to believe it. Just follow the yellow brick links 'til you get to some MP3s. (Caution: language NSFW.)



He's the only person I've ever heard that I think deserves the following post-mortem tribute, posted to zfilter:



You will be missed, you crazy, crazy motherfucker.



Alternative Tentacles - News | Wesley Willis

The internet still regularly amazes me.



It probably shouldn't anymore. But it does.



Welcome to Radio-Locator, the most comprehensive radio station search engine on the internet. We have links to over 10,000 radio station web pages and over 2500 audio streams from radio stations in the U.S. and around the world.



Radio-Locator

Aw. come onnnnn.



The guy was just trying to get spiffed up and cook for his veggie girlfriend. Give him a break. Sheesh.



MSN Entertainment - News - Cop in Bind Over 'Queer Eye'

So odd. And so funny.



Kim Jong Il (the illmatic)'s Journal

The prettiest little site I've seen in ages.



. gloriousday .

The real moon walk.

This just made my day.



Blogjam presents: Neil Armstrong - The Truth

Ah. If only all political commentary was this funny.



This little gem, from Jorge at okgo.net, arrived in my mailbox this morning:



Arnold Schwarzenegger Goes Straight To Video



Arnold Schwarzenegger, a little known California politician, has made the first commercial of his gubernatorial campaign available on his website. It's not the surprisingly violent finger jabbing that scares me; it's the fact that the ad makes it look like the man has fangs. I also wish they could have found a more flattering photograph of Maria Shriver for the homepage:

Join Arnold!



Who should you vote for, given the opportunity? The porn star, of course. Apologies to the more sensitive among you, but please admit that she has some brilliant planks in her platform, including taxing breast implants and limiting jury duty to the unemployed. It's all right here:

Mary Carey for Governor

This is BRILLIANT.



Thanks, T!



Compendium of Lost Words

How can you resist...



a blog with a name like this?



Craptastic

This one's for you, Chris.

Nuff said.



Handy Campaign Poster

"Hi,I sing strange a capella music.ENJOY!!"



Oh, yes, you do, Dokaka. And we will.



DOKAKA | Smells Like Teen Spirit.mp3



Dokaka's web site.

Guilty pleasures.

As an adult, I don't get too giddy about TV shows any more. I just assume they will disappoint or be cancelled prematurely if they're decent. But, I must confess, I'm feeling a little tingley (in a good way) about the new "Smoking Gun TV" that debuts next week. If it's even half as funny and nurtures even half the schadenfreude that the web site does, I'm going to have to get DVR.



I only hope they don't put it on opposite West Wing. That would just be cruel.



The Smoking Gun: Smoking Gun TV



Court TV: Smoking Gun TV

I love Bradley thousands.



My favorite quote this week (possibly of this year) is his:



"I hate people so much that sometimes it makes me hum real loud.



HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM."

I hate spammers so much.

I can't begin to tell you how much I hate spammers.



So, I get no end of pleasure knowing that the names of the losers who actually order penis-enlargement pills are now public because of pathetic vendor security. (via MeFi and Wired)



Wired News: Swollen Orders Show Spam's Allure

Ah, Fabio.



Fabio on Music

My favorite (non-sexual) spam titles to date.



"NEVER TIE YOUR SHOES AGAIN!"

"Covered With Tables" (?)

Another favorite: Doors of Perception.



If I ever have thousands of dollars to throw around on my own intellectual pursuits, I'm getting a front row seat to a Doors of Perception conference in Europe. A conference chock full of designers, artists, architects, musicians -- whatever strikes their fancy -- all talking about how design and culture fit together...



Doors is a conference, website, knowledge network, and cultural accelerator. We bring together innovators, entrepreneurs, educators, and designers who want to imagine alternative futures - sustainable ones - and take design steps to realize them.



Yes, it sounds like a bunch of wank, but if you look at their site, you'll realize this isn't a bunch of artsy rhetoric. (The site is ugly as hell, but mind-bogglingly full of fascinating stuff.)



Doors of Perception >> News

Yes, yes. I know.



"Switch" ad parodies are going the way of the dino. But this one is lovely. And it's a cartoon. How can you lose? (via AtomFilms.com)



Dark Side Switch

I guess this gets us back for "Freedom Fries."



Yeah. This'll work.



France bans 'e-mail' from vocabulary



PARIS, France (AP) -- Goodbye "e-mail", the French government says, and hello "courriel" -- the term that linguistically sensitive France is now using to refer to electronic mail in official documents.



The [French] Culture Ministry has announced a ban on the use of "e-mail" in all government ministries, documents, publications or Web sites, the latest step to stem an incursion of English words into the French lexicon.



The ministry's General Commission on Terminology and Neology insists Internet surfers in France are broadly using the term "courrier electronique" (electronic mail) instead of e-mail -- a claim some industry experts dispute. "Courriel" is a fusion of the two words.



Read the full story on cnn.com

Wow. I never thought to try this.



Just one more reason not to like Deion Sanders. Not that I was looking for any more...



Former Cowboy sued over auto repair bill



DALLAS -- A judge listened to testimony Monday and is expected to rule soon whether former Dallas Cowboy Deion Sanders owes money to a body shop for work done on his vintage 1961 Lincoln Continental convertible.



[...] The owner of the repair shop said Sanders wanted to pay only $1,500 of the $4,265.57 bill, saying that Jesus had informed him that was all he needed to pay...



Read the full story here.

A lesson in civility and culture.



This definitely doesn't just apply to Italians. But it appears to be made by an Italian and is one of the funniest, most self-effacing portraits of a culture I've seen in awhile...



Europe and Italy

I'm guessing this isn't available for my ottoman.



It'd be pretty damn hip if it was, man. (via boingboing)



Electric Plaid is a truly unique aesthetic medium. Electric Plaid's textile patterns and colors change magically before your eyes [...] Electric Plaid is the only animated reflective (it doesn't light up!) color change medium in the world. Electric Plaid brings textile design and color mixing into the 21st century. Electric Plaid can be designed to match any interior or taste.



Electric Plaid

Today's Mensa candidate.



(via The Smoking Gun)



JULY 14--Meet Michael Matakaetis. The 23-year-old Florida man was arrested last week after cops pulled him over for suspicion of drunk driving. Matakaetis, who had an open bottle of Captain Morgan Rum in his Lexus, apparently realized he was plastered and would be headed to the slammer. So, according to this Martin County Sheriff's report, Matakaetis decided to try and bribe his way out of the can. But instead of cash, Matakaetis actually offered the cop a stack of Dunkin' Donuts coupons. He noted, without irony, "You can have these if you just let me park the car and I'll walk home."



Read the whole stupid story here.

I'm back. (Finally!) With a cuppla helpful links...

Sorry. Moving and work have been a little overwhelming. But things have finally gotten back to semi-normal. So, back to the blog...



With celebs dropping like flies these days (look out if your name is "Buddy"), these might come in handy. The first one Paul told me about (simple and brilliant), the second is a bit more comprehensive.



Abe Vigoda Status

Dead or Alive

I wish I could take the day off.



Just to read all these "toothpaste for dinner" cartoons. I'd be a much happier girl.



toothpaste for dinner drawing archives

On a mini road trip to Indianapolis this weekend (happy birthday, Doreen!), my friend Lorraine brought along some old Trip Shakespeare CDs. I loved TS. I think I love these guys (two of the TS members) more now, just because of the web site. Take this sidebar comment for instance:



the Flops are not gay.



In fact they are so straight that they almost go around to the other side of the spectrum and become gay again.



But the fact remains that these two men constantly want all women and are only impaired in having them due to being married.



John Munson and Matt Wilson ARE the Flops!

God, I'm so happy I can read



...if only to enjoy this gem from The Independent newspaper (via MeFi) -- results of a competition to write the best beginning to an imaginary novel in 50 words or less.



(This is an astounding one, especially considering the author is 9 years old:



I cannot quite remember when it started. I was probably about nine or 10. All I can remember is that when it started, I quite enjoyed it. No one told me I was playing dangerously.)



The Independent | Opening Gambits

What DID people do before Photoshop?

Road signs (via Metafilter).

Worth1000.com | Photoshop Contests | Are you Worthy?� | contest

I can't explain it.

It's just an amazing site. You have to see it.

funkuncle.com

Wow.

About as close to a Star Trek communicator as we've gotten so far. From TechExtreme.com (via zfilter.com):

Rarely is an invention so unique, so visceral and so simple that in 15 seconds most people who experience it realize it could alter everyday life.

Sound That Focuses Only On You

The Office.

Okay. I now have to watch this show. The commercials alone are hilarious. The fact that I got the link from an ad on The Smoking Gun just seals the deal.

BBC America - The Office Rules

Bummer. This just in...

I guess it's now a battle of unreliable sources -- Hello! magazine vs Fox News.



[...]As for Keanu doling out the big bucks, here's the real story: Two years ago he put some of his upfront money back into the production budget to ensure the creative staff -- costumes, special effects etc. -- could continue working on the trilogy. This was back when the first Matrix had not yet hit pay dirt. Since then, believe me, the movies have been such a success that everyone's gotten what they needed.



But Keanu has not written any personal checks to anyone. Sorry.

FOXNews.com

It's just cruel...

To put out a trailer this funny for a movie that's not coming out for another YEAR...

The Incredibles

Messing with stock photography.

I don't know why, but I find this charming in a twisted sort of way.

Animation

Crap actor. Great gesture.

Point Break? Johnny Mnemonic? SO bad. But, if this is true, I almost have to forgive the guy his acting indiscretions just for being a nice guy.

KEANU REEVES GIVES �50 MILLION TO UNSUNG HEROES OF 'THE MATRIX'

Proof that your signature means nothing.

I'm just too chicken to try this. But I'm glad someone did.

The Credit Card Prank

Hmmm.

It takes a village of spraypaint to raise a child.

Guerilla Parenting

Who knew?

Tailgating will never be the same.

??????????

I want one!

No-Contact Jacket Images

Beautiful, funny, illustrated history of the Internet.

This will probably hang in many a cubby. (via Metafilter)

The Lemon: History Of The Internet

That name AND a wonky eye?

Poor, poor man. Yikes.

County Councillors - Churnet Valley

Dogs in cars.

Such a simple concept. Numbers 23, 28 and 97 are particular faves.

DOGS IN CARS

Klingon interpreter sought for patients. Geeks rejoice.



PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Position Available: Interpreter, must be fluent in Klingon.



The language created for the "Star Trek" TV series and movies is one of about 55 needed by the office that treats mental health patients in metropolitan Multnomah County.



[...] "There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said the county's purchasing administrator, Franna Hathaway.



Associated Press story

That shoots that theory.



Friday, May 9, 2003 - LONDON - Give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, the theory goes, and they will eventually produce the prose the likes of Shakespeare.



Give six monkeys one computer for a month, and they will make a mess.



Researchers at Plymouth University in England reported this week that primates left alone with a computer attacked the machine and failed to produce a single word.



Typing Monkeys Don't Write Shakespeare (washingtonpost.com)

Swedish Boy Bands.

I may have to get me some of these...

glarkware :: swedish boy bands

Puppet Portraits.

Just in time for Mother's Day. Nuff said.Puppet Artists

B3ta.com

These kids are the best. Any company that sends out a newsletter entitled, "Clickity Yoo-dar Clickity Yay" is okay in my book.


But I digress.


This little nugget is from their latest newsletter:


It must be quite dull being a web designer, having to build sites to sell crap stuff all day. So we salute this fellow who, in his boredom, has crafted one of the most preposterous front pages ever to grace a site about pie packaging.



Nicholl Food Packaging

How well do you know your art?

An amazing little film that will make you feel chuffed to know your Matisse from your Magritte... be warned: download's a little slow.

"KUNSTBAR" a "film" by THE PETRIE LOUNGE--- 2002

This makes absolutely no sense

yet I can't stop clicking... (kudos to Anne for the link)

Nohands Gallery!

With Pantsblog on vacation (well, not the site, but the pant-astic genius behind it...)

I'll have to make do with the biscuit equivalent (if only for the name)...nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

Probably the most painful video I've seen in years.

Major, MAJOR fremps. A 13-year old girl forgetting the words to The National Anthem in front of 20,000 people at the NBA playoffs. But the Blazers' coach, Maurice Cheeks, steps in for the John Hughes' ending, and all's right with the world. What a classy guy.

Watch the video

Read about it here:

NBA.com | Blazers: Cheeks Anthem Assist

Would it kill them to ask?

I always suspected that The Doors' Ray Manzarek was a weasel. Now I'm almost positive...



APRIL 24--The parents of Jim Morrison yesterday sued two of their son's former Doors bandmates, claiming that the musicians, now touring in a reformed version of the famous group, have "maliciously misappropriated" the name and logo of The Doors and are using Morrison's poetry and photos without permission...

The Smoking Gun: Doors Suit

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Apparently the movie is coming out soon...

Hulk

Silophone. Play sound into a silo.

That's right. Upload a .wav or .mp3 file (1 mb max) and it plays into an old silo in Montreal. You can listen to it via RealAudio.


From the web site:

Silophone makes use of the incredible acoustics of Silo #5 by introducing sounds, collected from around the world using various communication technologies, into a physical space to create an instrument which blurs the boundaries between music, architecture and net art. Sounds arrive inside Silo #5 by telephone or internet. They are then broadcast into the vast concrete grain storage chambers inside the Silo. They are transformed, reverberated, and coloured by the remarkable acoustics of the structure, yielding a stunningly beautiful echo. This sound is captured by microphones and rebroadcast back to its sender, to other listeners and to a sound installation outside the building. Anyone may contribute material of their own, filling the instrument with increasingly varied sounds.

Play the Silophone

Yes. Weirder and cooler than Teletubbies.

From last Sunday's issue of The Guardian (UK)

For those readers who are neither students, small children, the minders of small children, the unemployed or TV critics, the Boohbahs are five fat furry atoms of light with bulbous tummies, huge blinking eyes and heads that, tortoise-like, retract into their bodies. They sleep nestled like tealights in a modernist organic chandelier and at bedtime are whirled away across the world to the rainbow's end.


In their waking hours the Boohbahs dance and make funny noises and are occasionally interrupted by some grown-ups called 'Brother' and 'Sister' or 'Mr Man' and 'Mrs Lady'. My favourite non-Boohbah sequence involved 'Brother' and 'Sister' hunting for huge pearls inside giant iridescent oyster shells on a white sand beach under a clear blue sky. It was not only beautifully shot and hypnotic to watch but, screened in a different context, might easily be shortlisted for the Turner Prize.


The Observer | Review | Come and join us... (the full story)

Check out the web site for a taste of Boobah culture. SO strange.

Boohbah Zone

An astounding collection of, um, art.

Must be seen. Cannot be explained.

If you have time, dig around the site. It's worth it.

Paintings by Brandon Bird

From Tomato, one of my favorite design firms

I love these guys.

Our work on the [Jerry Seinfeld 'Comedian'] DVD follows on from the film titles and the Comedian Shrine website which were both created by us in 2002. The site [...] was designed in the style of a nerdy Jerry fanatic with very, very bad taste.

If you've never seen the movie trailer, be sure to watch it in the "Vids" section.

ComedianShrine - the unofficial site of comedian the movie

Make your own mini-Bollywood movie.

Nothing says Bollywood like Denmark and Coca-Cola products.

Choose a clip. Write some dialogue. Ta-da! (Thanks for the link, Chris!)

Fanta Shokata

It's a kitten. And it loves you. That's all.

For sheer goofiness, this has my top vote for today. (Be advised - this has sound that starts right away - if your speakers are turned up, your co-workers WILL think you're brain damaged.)

i love you kitten - b3ta

Bummer.

Jazz singer Nina Simone died today. Her versions of "Sinnerman," "My Baby Just Cares for Me" and "I Put a Spell on You" are some of my favorite songs of all time, so I'm quite sad...

CNN.com - Singer Nina Simone dead at 70 - Apr. 21, 2003

Zen-like inanity.

The alphabet. Product placement. Vignettes. Hard to explain, but fun.

carl steadman :: placing.com

Oh, to be in Wausau, now that spring is here.

APRIL 16--Meet Montell Howard. The 21-year-old Wisconsin man was just busted for assaulting the Easter Bunny. According to cops, Howard roughed up a man dressed as the friendly rabbit during a visit to a Wausau mall. The bunny, 29-year-old Travis Peterson, was greeting children when Howard allegedly jumped into his lap and and started smashing him in the head. The assailant then put the Easter Bunny in a headlock and punched the rabbit in the mouth, as young mallgoers watched aghast.

The Smoking Gun: Man Assaults Easter Bunny

Also via sharpeworld.com

Speaking of guitars...

The nanoguitar

sharpeworld.com

This site has been one of my very favorites awhile, but it's been on hiatus. It seems to be awake now, though, with linkity goodness like its (his? their?) new MP3 series, "People that sound like instruments and instruments that sound like people."


This week's MP3 spotlight:

driven by the idea that it would be nice to come up with a way to enable his "deaf and dumb" neighbors to speak through a guitar, pete drake, a 1960s nashville steel guitar player (responsible for introducing steel guitar into pop music via his recordings with bob dylan, elvis presley, and george harrison), spent five years developing a way to make his instrument talk. although he sold millions of records with his "talking steel guitar" invention (not to be confused with the vocoder, a speech synthesis device invented by bell labs in 1939), it wasn't until "frampton comes alive!" that the talking guitar finally became a household sound.



Check out the archive while you're there. Definitely worth every minute.



sharpeworld -- mp3 of the week

My sister's former employer.

My memory may not be what it was, but I DO remember the go-go boots, Colleen.

The Grooviest Motel in Wisconsin

For more enjoyment, check out the rest of the site. It's fab.

J. Lilek's Institute of Official Cheer


Correction: My sis just informed me that the Gobbler uniform was "a pink V-neck dress with the ruffled bottom pulled up in a turkey tail in the back. Worn with fishnet stockings and platform shoes." My mistake. Oh, and god bless the 70s.

I love Ikea.

Their furniture, their prices, their ads, their video interface... [happy sigh.]

unb�ring tv

And creators of what may be one of the funniest commercials ever:

Tidy Up

Just in time for Easter

A bible cartoon.

Wibsite Flannelgraph cartoons

Well...I guess if Jesse Ventura can get into office...



Masked Wrestler Wins Japan Assembly Seat

TOKYO (Reuters) - Who is that masked man? One of Japan's newest politicians.



A professional wrestler who fought his way to victory in local assembly elections under his ring name and wearing his trademark mask has vowed the mask will not leave his face even after he enters the staid halls of Japanese politics.



"This is my face," the wrestler -- known as "The Great Sasuke" -- was quoted by the Nikkan Sports newspaper as saying of his black and white full-face mask with bright scarlet streaks and golden wings by the eye holes.



"I won support from voters with this face, and to take it off would be breaking promises," the 33-year-old wrestler, whose real name is Masanori Murakawa, said of his victory in conservative Iwate prefecture, some 460 km (290 miles) north of Tokyo.


Read the whole story (scroll down if you can't see it right away)

Ouch!

From a press release about "The Great American Parade," by retired University of Wisconsin professor Robert Burrows:


The book, mocked at length by a Washington Post writer in a February interview with the author, is a political satire on economic themes [...] The reviewer, Gene Weingarten, unabashedly declared Burrow's novel to be a "wretchedly terrible product that shames the American publishing industry."



While Burrows describes his book as a "novel of ideas," the Post reviewer -- citing the elaborate and formal dialogue -- was prompted to ask the author, "Have you ever heard real human beings speak?" But the review was not entirely negative. "Your book is printed on very white, shiny paper," Weingarten remarked as he concluded the interview.


"Worst Novel in the World" wins readers

Nufonia must fall.

From the press release:

Nufonia Must Fall is a romantic tragedy in graphic novel form, by one of the world's most renowned DJs. Inspired both by silent films and comic books, this unique work has been published by ECW Press in conjunction with Ninja Tune. In Kid Koala's words, "It's about this robot who's trying to write love songs to get the attention of this girl. But he's a robot so he can't sing, and so it's kinda hard to write love songs. But there's adventure. There's some action. There's some drama. There are some sweet moments. There are some scary moments. . . it's all there."


It's beautiful. Check it out:

The commercial.

The book.

Schadenfreude at its best.

Possibly one of the funniest sites ever. Real memos from real companies. Who knows how they get them, but thank god they do. How to handle live turkeys invading your workspace. How to piss off your co-workers by putting their Star Wars figurines in compromising positions. Oh, and this one, about a breach in "professionality" at Circuit City:



To: Web Team

cc: MIS/Manager/CircuitCity

Date: 08/15/2001 12:31 PM



Subject: Professionality at work



Team,

Today there was another rubber band shooting occurrence. I want to remind you all that this is not acceptable behavior at work. Since I don't know who's shooting the rubber bands, I am going to put a copy of this e-mail into each of your personnel files. Since this is not acceptable behavior, if it continues, it will result in penalty.

- Rick

Internalmemos.com

Think of 'em as Beanie Babies on acid.

I can't figure out for the life of me why American stores haven't picked up on these types of toys yet. They're cute, hip, kind of twisted, and there are a million geeks out there who'd happily hand over chunks of their paychecks for them. If you check these out, I can pretty much guarantee you'll spend at least 10 minutes looking at other toys on the site.

Podolly

Cat (Crazy Children #17)

I'm a Friendster addict.

My friend Tina invited me to be part of Friendster, a free online "networking" community. It's kind of like personal ads, except not so creepy because you only view people that are your friends or friends of friends. And it's not just for dating. You can look for friends, activity partners or you can just sign up to help out your friends by introducing your friends to theirs. The best part is, you can read really sweet, funny testimonials written by your friends about how fabulous you are.

It's in the beta testing phase right now (which is probably why it's free), but it's already amazing. In a little over 24 hours, I now have a community of 145 people across the country in my Friendster network. And it's growing by the hour. It's worth signing up just to see how quickly your network grows...



Friendster site

Alive with Pleasure

One my my co-workers sent this along. A perfect mockumentary (a la "Best in Show") for design & marketing folks.



Alive With Pleasure site

High tea. With chopsticks.

I love England. I love Korea. So, of course, I'd be right at home on the space station.



NASA Space Station Picture of the Day

Trivia from mytypewriter.com:

A recent survey of the top 1,000 living English-language authors finds that more than 80 percent own manual typewriters averaging 43 years in age and three broken functions, with a per-unit resale value of $4.75 and slipping. Yet in a questionnaire about their response if brigands should invade their homes and demand either their beat-up old manual typewriters or their spouses on pain of death, a whopping 96 percent wrote ''Spouse.''

Sometimes it's amazing what an artistic person can do with a web site.

I'm creeped out by bugs, and I still think this is amazing...



mytinygarden.com