The single best thing I read all day.

From this morning's toothpaste for dinner newsletter.
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i grew up in the shadow of an arby's, so maybe that is why i have a
small arby's fixation. i don't even eat there, i haven't eaten there in
maybe three years, but i used to stare out the window in childhood and see: ROAST. BEEF. ROAST BEEF. ... ROAST. BEEF. ROAST BEEF.
that is how the neon on the sign would flash. it was hypnotic.

then yesterday a friend told me that at arby's, the meat comes
liquified in a bag, and they boil the bag to make it solidify before
they slice it. i did not know this and it horrified me a little bit. "i
always liked arby's roast beef sandwiches because they are juicy," i
said. "that is because they are just liquid," she told me.

liquid. roast. beef. liquid roast beef. liquid roast beef in a bag!
(that's how the sign's gotta flash now.)

if you want a picture of my childhood, imagine the arby's sign
flashing, and the sound of cars driving through the rain, and the way
schools smell. they always smell kind of... i don't know... schooly.
they always have a smell though, and it is gross.
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Here's the corresponding cartoon:
toothpastefordinner.com :: it is a hat

Sadly, the liquid beef statement is an urban myth. I kinda hoped it was true.
snopes :: quell gel