Whenever historians uncover some new bit of information about heroes of the past, it's usually nothing we want to hear. This one kept slaves. That one had a passel of illegitimate children. Some other dude once slapped a nun. George Washington never chopped down any cherry tree and therefore never had an opportunity to be all sanctimonious about how he couldn't tell a lie.
[...] People generally have pretty good things to say about Abraham Lincoln -- all the things you learned in school, you know. But we at Glarkware feel that his legacy would be bolstered even further by evidence that, one day, during a walk in the woods, he came upon Bigfoot, and the two came to fisticuffs.
glarkware :: bigfoot vs. abe lincoln
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